Funny Facebook Status Messages

If you are looking for brightening up your dull day, then you have landed on the right page. This article is all about very funny Facebook status messages that have been written by real people. I am sure most of the people are aware of how to use Facebook. This makes it quite obvious that you know the meaning of Facebook status messages. So without going into the details of what is Facebook and how does it work, let us see some of the very funny Facebook status messages.

Funny Facebook Status Messages

"Most of us can keep a secret. It's the people we tell it to who can't."

"When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it's for them?"

"You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help enough other people get what they want."

"I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak."

"...... feels like getting some work done...and so he is sitting down until the feeling passes."

"......... used to play sports. Then she realized you can buy trophies. Now she's good at everything."

"....... says my computer just beat me at chess...but it was no match for me at kick boxing."

"......... before you use the bathroom in someone's house make sure you check they have toilet paper!!"

".......... understands that hard work pays off in future but Laziness pays off now !"

"............ Is Wondering.... If Money Doesn't Grow On Trees,, Then Why Do Banks Have Branches ?"

"............. wanted to kill the sexiest person alive...But suicide's a crime :-/"

"......... I'm not high maintenance. I am just a precious cargo with lavish instruction for upkeep."

"Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant."

"I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian."

"... says One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions."

".... intends to go to Heaven for the climate and to Hell for the company."

"....... is shout of the hour"

"....... is currently out of her mind but please feel free to leave a message."

Funny Facebook Status Messages About Women

"Women: Can't live with them, can't kill them."

"Me and my wife are inseparable. Sometimes, it takes three or four people to pull us apart."

"I married my wife for her looks. But not the ones she's been giving me lately!"

"I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me. She calls me her sixty-second lover."

"...... always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila."

"Make love, not war. Hell, do both. Get married."

"Take your troubles like a man. Blame them on your wife."

"Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet."

"eat eat and eat....but don't eat my brain"

"...... just received a coupon in the mail: Buy one sock, get one FREE! While socks last."

"Every day, man is making bigger and better fool-proof things, and every day, nature is making bigger and better fools. So far, I think nature is winning."